Utkast, eller uppkast.

image190

Jag håller på att skriva ett manus. Så här långt har jag kommit. Jag har hoppat lite i scenerna, det här är i mitten av filmen typ. Scenen är en uteservering i Berlin. Snaskefar (klädd i svart och i solglasögon) anländer och Ramirez (En grånad, ärrad man av obestämt ursprung) sitter redan vid bordet. De nickar mot varandra och Snaskefar slår sig ner vid bordet. Ramirez tar till orda på The Queens English. Snaskefar svarar på en hemmabyggd skolengelska kryddad med konstiga betoningar. Vissa av hans repliker mumlas fram. Det är inte ett klassiskt manus i arial, mittcentrering och allt det där. Det får ni leva med än så länge.

– Snaskefar, we meet again. All is well I hope?

– Skip the pleasantries Ramirez, we both know why we are here.

– Yes… At least I do, why are you here, I might ask?

– To set things straight with the company. You know this Ramirez, no more god damn hästskojeri!

– What is hestskoojeri?

– It is a Swedish… How do you say… It is not good, it is bad. Well, just let it go… I mean, it is when some tricks you with a horse that you are köping and… THAT IS NOT THE GOD DAMN POINT!  WHERE IS CARMEN? [sunglasses off, he is angry]

– Carmen is not with us anymore…

– Is she… dead?

– No she left.

– Because of me?

– She does not even know who you are.

– Stjärtskalle.

– What?

– Nothing.

– Why are you here Snaskefar?
– Buenos Aires.
– What about Buenos Aires?
– I was set up.
– Set up? Would that be a problem?

– Among other tings, Buenos Aires was not my doing. The Russians had better intelligence…

– Ah yes! Always the Russians eh? Let’s see. London – The Russians, Sidney – The Russians, Chicago – The Russians, the job in DC – The Russians. Oh, and my favorite, Russia – The Russians. Your so called "reports" are full of Russians. [Ramirez now in a mocking tone of voice]

– Er… In my defense, the Russians are in Russia.

– This is another problem for us; you have a fondness of stating the obvious. It is becoming a liability. We send you out to gather information and you come back with bits and pieces that does not make sense and then you state… Let me see… Ah! Yes, here it is, "London is the capital of the UK".

– Fuck you and the company.

– No need to get vulgar Snaskefar. There is one more thing.

– What?

– You have not worked for the company. Ever.

– I see, "hush hush" and all that. You can trust me.

– No I mean that you never have worked for the CIA. You started to send us confusing e-mails a couple of years ago and then you turned up, uninvited I might add, to our Christmas party. To be frank, we felt sorry for you and gave you some simple tasks which you fucked up. Royally. We are not spies, this is not the CIA. We are not a "company" We are The Culinary Institute of America. We teach promising young chefs how to be great, not to kill with knives. Carmen is our vice chancellor.

– Du is not so djävla bra yourself.  And tell Frank I will kill him if I see him. [mumbling]

– What?

– Nothing.
– Here is a "company" coffee cup, some pencils, balloons and stickers. Consider this your severance package.

– Is this it… [Starts to sob]

– Please show some dignity Snaskefar. I am leaving you know, but I wish you all the best.

Ramirez ställer sig upp och går, Snaskefar snyftar vidare och tar upp sin telefon. Han låtsas ringa ett samtal. Telefonen börjar ringar när han talar i den. Det är Ramirez. Snaskefar lyssnar och svarar.

– Is it a black hat? Because there is a black hat here. No? OK…

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